I reckon the adventure started before I even got to the convention. I went to Lowe's (tm) to get a plastic shipping container for my lemur suit to travel in. I did this the day BEFORE the con. I also called the airport the day before the con and found out I'd have to pay extra shipping on larger check in items over 62". Like I said, what a wonky trip! I pulled the big blue plastic 40 gallon container across Lowe's, displeased with the scraping noise it was making on the floor when an employee pointed out to me it had wheels on one side, as if to pull along. "That's something!" I said, excitedly, and commenced to pulling the thing along like a wagon!

The convention, right, right.. ok. After mom helped me pack my suitcase on Wednesday afternoon, she thought it be best if I left 18 hours early for the airport, on account of the snow that we were supposed to get. After arriving at the Columbus Airport Wednesday at 9:30 p.m. for a 1:15 p.m. Thursday flight, I soon found myself alone and shivering in the Red Lot Long Term Parking Lot. I noticed a sign for shuttle busses, but didn't see any, and it was colder than Martha Stewart's heart outside, so I walked, thinking "How far can long term parking be from the airport?"

About 2 miles down the road, I began to wonder how good of an idea it was. The icy cold wind was at my back, at least, as the empty shuttle busses zoomed by me. I must of looked like some kind of homeless maniac. When I finally got to the airport (another mile down the road) I headed straight to the row of resteraunts, which were caging up just as I got there. "We still serve drinks, honey." the waitress at TGIF reminded me. I decided not to get sloshed with a couple slick looking businessmen, and sat down to read my Animorphs.
After a bit of this, (the Yeerks, those bastards, still have Jake's brother, Tom, as a controller, and might have abducted Marco's mom) I decided it was time to go to sleep. This was around the same time the night construction crew in the airport decided it was time to start working. I threw my jacket over my head and nested the best I could in the tiny little seats and actually almost dozed off when I heard:
"Jeez, man, lookit that guy."
"Yeah, that can't be comfortable.
"He looks like he broke his neck.
Someone started shaking me just as I was about to sit up. The night cleaning crew woke me and suggested I head to the 24 hour cafeteria to sleep, where they at least had benches. "A 24 hour cafeteria?" I asked, the button from my jacket branded into my forehead. "Where?"

After some lengthy directions followed by multiple use of hand gestures (I think they assumed I was retarded) I hopped on the "moving stairs" to the cafeteria. Food at last! After looking at the menu, I decided on the grilled chicken patty (I'm trying to cut down on fried foods) and some french fries.
"No hot food after 10 pm. Only hot dogs." the guy behind the counter said. Not about to choke down a food item from which origins I would never know, I settled on a brownie and a 20 ounce Pepsi. That did wonders for my trying to sleep on the ample 3ft bench provided to me. I woke around 6:00 am. to the sounds of diners streaming in. I decided to catch the shuttle back to the Red Lot and get my lemur costume and suitcase. After getting those things and heading back to the 'port, I checked in, and was told that, if I hurried, I could make the 7:15 am flight out to Saint Louis instead of the 1:15 pm flight. As luck would have it, I did make that flight, and the next flight to the LA X was bumped up as well, meaning I would get to the Buena Park hotel just before noon, instead of 9:00 pm! The flight was nice.. the in flight movie was "The Peacemaker", which left me wondering about George Clooney's ability to play more than the one character, and agreeing with Kohii's assesment that "Return of the Killer Tomatoes was probably his finest movie."

After landing in LA, (AKA Cloud City) I boarded the Airport Bus for the Buena Park hotel.. just before the bus pulled off, who should sit next to me but Orzel! "Watch your head!" the bus driver warned Orzel as he sat next to me.

Arriving at the hotel around noon, I ran straight into Rolokoda, my Dayton Ohio pal and fellow Dayton Bomber's Hockey fan. After standing in line to check in, I soon found I had no room to check into. "Curse Croc!" I thought to myself, even though it was mostly Raika's fault. Rolo said it would be fine if I dumped my stuff off into his room, and, after running into Danruk, soon dropped off the lemur suit and all my luggage into Rolo's room.

After that, it was a lotta running around and having fun. I thought about taking a shower, seeing how I was still all rumpled and stinky from sleeping in the airport, but then I thought better of it. "Why shower, when I can hop into the hot tub later?" Of course, that later never came.
I'm kidding, really:o)

After finally getting running into pals, like Tim_Kangaroo, Jason-Roo, Donotsue, Loam, and more, I decided to head out to Goodies with Dakhun, Terminataur, and Danruk.Lunch was a french dip, and half of Danruk's California Burger. They piled avacados on it! "That is so California" I said, scraping the offending bastards off. Lunchtalk included a very educational discussion about Canadian TV, and why we'll never see the shows down here. I was stunned to find out that "The Littlest Hobo" (a Canadian show about a hero dog) had been off the air for years, and that there would probably be no more episodes made of "The Raccoons."
But enuff about that stuff. :o)

Upon arriving back at the con, I ran into even more people I know, like Bojo, the Pigeon and Petorawolf, who I had met for the first time this con. After biting the bullet and standing in line for registration for over an hour and a half, I finally got my cherished con badge (which, at first, read: "Kiyotr") and headed out to have some fun. By this time, Raika and Croc arrived, and I was able to get into my room and unload stuff. After that was taken care of, I hung out with Raika, Orzel, Croc, Kohii, Rafeki, Fofferin, and Petorawolf After we all headed back to the room (our's was huge, for some reason, even had a bathroom and sink.) We did the Silly Gift Exchange and played around with Croc's gator suit. Soon, it was time to crash for the night, so I fell asleep, a useful way to get rid of unwanted vistors. :)

The next morning started with Raika talking to our maid, a sassy little Mexican number, about getting another pillow for Croc, who apparently needs not two but three pillows to sleep. After pointing at a pillowing and miming getting another, the maid gave Raika a blank stare, smiling and nodding, while repeating "I don't speak English.", which only made Raika speak slower and mime more, confusing her completly. Finally, I grabbed a pillow, shook it like a dead cat, and said "Una Mas", which is fEk's favorite resteraunt, and means "One more" in Espanól.

Friday was the first official day of the con, and I didn't want to waste any of it. After zooming through the dealer's room and gawking at all of the art and keen stuff, I found myself stopped dead in my tracks by a couple of cels from "The Kingdom Chums" religious cartoon. Only $25! After badgering Topfox about the cartoon for nearly half an hour, I finally walked away without it, but the cheesy songs from the cartoon filled my head. L-I-E-S, L-I-E-S, spells lies. lies. While not exactly inspired lyrics, baby, it hassa beat!
By this time the mascots were showing up, and my "I can be cool, and not fanboyish" mentality totally melted away as I pointed at Jimmy Chin's lovable yotie costume and started babbling "Yippee! Yippee! Only after realizing screaming "Yippee! Yippee!" seems to be everyone's reaction did I feel better about my lack of control. That coyote is cuter than a butterfly on Bambi's butt!

Friday night, after checking out the action at the Purple Nurple dance, I felt ready to go out for the first time in the lemur suit. After rounding up Croc and Kohii, I felt ready to go. It took no less than 30 minutes to get into the suit, as it's incredibly tight; a non-strechable fur on a lycra body suit. Oakshadow, the designer, said the fur was impossible to work with, and fought him every bit of the way. Once inside the suit, I checked for little details, like breathing, and visibility. I could technically breathe and see, though it was pretty impaired, I figured it's the same in every mascot suit. (Only after trying on Fofferin's Robin Hood head did I appreciate what it's like to have ample head room) I wrangled up Raika as a handler, and headed to the dance. After wading through a little bit of a crowd, and getting picked up by somebody, (Vandringar?) I went into the actual dance itself.
Suddenly, I found myself in a dark, crowded room full of people, loud music, and strobe lights. It was a little scary. I grabbed onto my 8ft ringed tail , (AKA, The Constant Prop Hanging From My Butt) and air guitared with it, hopping around and having fun. I danced like I had never danced before. (and I hadn't) After five minutes of this frolicsome lesser-primate fun, I noticed I was beginning to wheeze. "Will this add or detract to my overall cuteness?" I wondered. A minute later, I had the answer. No longer just letting out cute little wheezes, I sounded and moved like a ringtail with a serious case of emphysema. Desperatly, I looked over for Raika, who was less than 5ft from me, but I couldn't see him. Just quick flashes of things through my eyeholes. Feeling sympathy for anyone who had ever been swallowed alive by a python, I gasped/panted my way over to where the enterance of the dance was, and felt someone tugging on my arm. It was Raika! Suddenly I understood why mascots needed handlers so badly. I broke the mascotter's rule of not talking and wheezed out "I want to go back to the room." as quietly as I could. After getting aggervated at people stopping me on the way up, but trying to be as fun and lemur-ish as I could, I ended up skipping the elevator and taking the stairs. Once I made it the room and took off the head, I was able to breathe, I felt sheepish about my lack of endurance, until Fofferin later tried on the lemur head and took it off as fast as he could, gawked at me, and asked how in the world I could breathe in that thing. I waited another 20 minutes before going back out, and this time, instead of going to the dance and doing the Floundering Gasping Lemur, I walked around the lobbey and posed with the tail, occasionally bapping people with it. After returning once and for all, it was another good 40 minutes as I slowly peeled my way out of the costume, which was now even snugger after sweating (ewwwww) in it. When someone asked me how it went, I replied that "Other than the not being able to breathe or see, it went great!" Then I totally crashed for the night, still thinking about taking a shower at some point the next day.

By Saturday, the convention was in full swing. I briefly thought about showering, since I hadn't since Wednesday, but then thought better of it. This was Confurence! No time to waste on hygene. I went to the SIG for performing in a fursuit, and tried to learn as much as I could. Afterwards,The Costume Show was a great way to view the showcased talent and costumes. Holloway's kittysuit really stuck out in my head, and I was glad to see he won his division. Great costume! I hope somehow, we furries can get ahold of the footage that the tv crews from overseas shot. My only complaint about this year's show was that the seating was changed from last year, which was ideal for people with video cameras, because they were allowed to sit in the very front row to film.

After alla that fun, I headed out to Denny's with Jericho, Raika, Croc, and some other guy... I heard all about Sun's mascot, Network the Dog, and how he had a doghouse in front of the corporate offices. After driving back to the con, I was able to beg/borrow/steal a needle off of Yippee Coyote so I could repair the seam that had given out in my costume the night before. I ended up getting lazy, and only repairing part of it, while Raika fixed the rest. I need smacked!

Once again, it was time to head out to a dance.. this time the official pool party dance. After slithering into my costume and cursing the 4 ounces I had gained since lunch, I managed to squeeze in, only to find the zipper in back was stuck down. Faced with either not dancing at all dancing with my bare back exposed, or throwing a shirt on, I opted for the shirt. Croc and Fofferin wisely suggested I wear shoes instead of my lemur feet, as things were pretty damp out by the pool. The party was crowded with fursuits! It seemed like quite a lot more than last year.. I managed to find Stego, something I promised myself I would do last year, and danced with him. "How's.. it..*pant* going *gasp* pal?" I managed to wheeze out. Later, I took the action over to Minnie Mouse, and decided to spare her the details of my lifelong crush. Croc and Rolokoda, in fursuits, made sure I kept from falling into the pool or knocking things over with my tail... one things I noticed right away was that *watching* a fursuit dance is probably funner than actually *being* in one. At least until I get my breathing issues worked out. I managed to do fairly well until I had to head back in. I signaled for Raika to take me back to my room. After taking my head off and flopping still in costume on the bed, I whined for water and towels, and told Raika I would be ready to head out in 10 minutes again. 20 minutes passed, and I found myself wondering how Croc was doing out there.

"I don't know." Raika said. "I'm supposed to be looking after him.
I felt awful about that, knowing Croc was handler-less for nearly half an hour because of me. Raika was just about to head out to get him when Croc came in, looking like he had just run the Boston Marathon. After apologizing to Croc for kidnapping Raika for so long, things settled down, and we all headed to the pool patio area after the dance was over and hung out with Petorawolf, Danruk, Orzel, Jack Cavenaugh, and Rolokoda until the area was closed.

Sunday morning brought the "Convention is Over" blues to me (though not to the people that stayed until Wednesday) as I packed and got ready to leave. I grabbed my jacket, ready to bring it with me onto the plane when Rafeki warned me that, if I were planning to move to California, to *leave* the jacket. Worried I would have "K-Mart" written all over me, I opted to not wear it on the plane, end ended up totally freezing by the time I got into Ohio. Thanks, 'coon!

And so ends my memories of Confurence 9. Yes, there were some good memories, and yes, there were some bad memories. But they're all my memories, and now that I've written them down, not even the ravages of my impending senility can take them away from me.

See you all next year!
! -Ki