Parking Lot Shenanigans

The Lost Car Ploy

   One of my favorite pranks at parking lots to play was the "lost car" ploy. We've all lost our cars at those huge mall parking lots, c'on, admit it. Some of us only have to peer down rows for a few minutes, while some of us spend over half an hour going through the whole lot in a sweaty panic, about to call the police to report a stolen vehicle when we finally spot our beloved set of wheels.
With this in mind, the prank is fairly simple and fun. Grab a couple pals, (it's best not to look like a complete idiot on your own) and head down to any crowded parking lot. Park anywhere. Go inside, mallrat. Check out the cute Natural Wonders puppets. When you come back out into the parking lot, look *lost*. That state comes pretty natural to me; look around like you're looking for your car. Walk up and down the rows, scratching your head, and so on, whilst slowly making your way to your car. But don't act like it's your's! Instead, walk right up to it and stop, still looking around, jumping up and down as if to get a better view of the mall's lot. Then procede to *climb* up onto your car's hood (or roof, if you don't worry about it caving in) and make like a meerkat, gazing over the vast expase of cars, still searching. :o) People wonder what kinda total jerk would climb up onto a complete stranger's car to look for their own. Bonus points if you have a pal park next to your car, and you hop from your hood to his. :o)

Have fun!
Kiyote

Parking Lot Shark Hunting

It's no surprise that we lazy Americans prefer to find the closest parking spot to a mall entrance so we don't have to walk far. Most people drive around a little before picking a good spot, but some people, known as parking lots sharks will cruise around for half an hour, stalking folks carrying packages out to thier car, waiting until .03 seconds after they pull out to take their prized spot near the entrance.
Here's where it gets fun! When you exit a mall with a load of Cool Stuff You Bought, jangle your keys and head to the absolutely best parking spot in the whole lot. It doesn't matter if it's your car or not. Hear that engine idling behind you? That's a parking lot shark, and he's ready to bite! Reach down like you're about to open the door of that car in the oh-so-pristine spot, then suddenly snap your fingers, and look at your watch. Start going through your bags 'o stuff. Do anything, but kill a lot of time. It's like a classic old west showdown, but you're guarenteed to win, because just when things get tensest, you can just walk back into the mall.

No, I really *don't* have a life. :o)
-Kiyote

Massacre at the Mall

   What could be scarier than multiple homicides at a place you feel safe at? I can't really think of anything. I mean, wooo, crazy, man...

Now you can create that same "things-just-aren't-right." unsettling feeling without actually killing anyone! Grab a few pals, preferably of a wide multitude of shapes and sizes, some chalk, and head to your favorite mall, or, as I did it once, library. Have all your friends lay down and do chalk outlines of their bodies/body parts, and maybe some outlines of weapons like guns or knives on the dark pavement. Have fun, but don't get carried away. Six or seven bodies is funny 'cause it's believable, but when you start to get into more than several dozen bodies, well, that just looks silly. Bonus points if you show up in the morning, shaking your head and clicking in sympathy at the massacre as the first of the consumers arrive.