Xmas. I turned on the tv set. Rudolph's nose was glowing like a beacon. I changed the channel. News. I changed again. Aresenio was talking to that idiot Bobcat guy about kids staying in school. I changed again. Bob Newhart was bemusedly regarding a shoe in his left hand. I turned off the tv set and walked outside. I saw Perry Mason, chest heaving, convict yet another criminal. I waved at him, and he smiled and waved back. The world blurred as God Himself started changing stations. A grim-faced seargent was telling his men to be brave for God and Country. Then the shells started exploding. I ran back inside and turned the tv back on. Little DJ from Roseanne was giving a rare and few inbetween line. He said: "Ok, Ok, I'll leave." I noticed that the line had no "S"'s in it, thereby not giving the viewer a chance to look for the rumored lisp that kept him mute during 9/10ths of the season.